
Goodman nails the voice of an eight/nine-year-old, their focus all over the place, the structure of the letter messy, almost ‘stream of consciousness’ in style and I enjoyed the unique format and thought the overall piece, experimental as it was, worked incredibly well. Goodman gets a lot of mileage out of childhood innocence here, his letter writer clearly positioned as well-intentioned rather than leaning into the trope of ‘evil children’ and the fun of this short is how the reveal comes gradually, almost mentioned as a passing thought until the lurid details come out. Told from the perspective of a third-grader writing a letter to his teacher, the story starts off rather sweet and endearing but gets very dark very quickly.


Horror readers just wanting a fun read will leave very happy, but genre fans wanting a little more substance over style get that here as well, and the balance between the two is perfect.

As fun as it is as a gross-out piece, the story is also a very relatable and slightly melancholy metaphor, one which I initially read as almost a take on PTSD, and the minds unwillingness to let go of past traumas. The titular premise is surreal and unpleasant and the story gets good and disgusting, but dig a little deeper and there is more going on that first meets the eye. As a pure body horror story, it is very effective. It’s easy to see why Goodman chose to lead with this story, as it very much sets the tone for what is to follow, and more than any story in this collection demonstrates a range that few writers can boast. Everything about the book screams fast-paced, fun and gory good times and, if his ‘sneak peek’ release of the short story ‘The Old Bay King’ back in February is any indication, that is exactly what we can expect. Affectionately referred to as ‘Paperbacks From Hell’ named for the recent Grady Hendrix book of the same name that chronicles their history, these lurid covers and unashamedly gory content has inspired a whole generation of writers, and the influence on Goodman’s inaugural release is clear to see before you’ve even started reading.

Coons and twelve tales of terror inspired in no small part by the mass market horror paperback explosion of the 1970s and 1980s. This debut collection and much-anticipated release from Donnie Goodman boasts a killer cover by Justin T.
